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Narcissism shows up in all facets of life, above all in our families. It is a pattern which repeats through generations, eventually leaking out into our social structures. ‘Conquering Narcissism’ is a book which blows the lid on this conspiracy, aimed at those wanting to understand and transcend their narcissistic family as well as those wishing to overcome narcissism in general.
We begin from the perspective of a child, whose tendency to ‘split’ experiences into good and bad and to worship the ‘good’ leaves them vulnerable to abuse. When splitting and trauma meet, narcissism is an almost inevitable outcome which spawns as a last ditch effort to regain control. When narcissism and family meet, a fertile environment for abuse to perpetuate is created.
Next, the narcissistic family is explored in detail and contrasted with the ideal ‘healthy family’ to better highlight its dysfunction. As members of a narcissistic family leave home, they are ripe to be drawn into the ‘narcissist regime’, a copy of the narcissistic family in society which includes the narcissistic group/gang, the narcissistic company, the narcissistic romantic relationship and the narcissistic spiritual movement.
For victims of narcissistic abuse, an inside-out approach is required. The four forces of a relationship - love, power, hate and shame - are explained, where balancing them in daily life is a fundamental requirement to ensure healthy relationships and inoculation from narcissism.
Finally, 7 paradigm shifts are introduced which aim to free us from the illusion of power which the narcissist regime cultivates:
1. Split to ambivalence: Learn to have both love and hate for a person and to see them as they really are.
2. Worship to personal power: Dispel the belief that salvation lies in a ‘perfect’ person and take responsibility for your life.
3. Enmeshment to individuality: Learn how narcissists use enmeshment to control and embrace a life of healthy boundaries.
4. Fight/flight to wholeness: Cultivate a state of calm after a lifetime of anxiety from PTSD, which develops from narcissistic abuse.
5. Control to influence: Use personal power to set an example and give up the need to control others.
6. Clinging to falling: Give up the idea that playing a role will give your life meaning. Learn to embrace nothingness, and with that your personal power.
7. Doing to being: Embrace the power of shame as an alternative to narcissism.
Through shifting your paradigms, ‘Conquering Narcissism’ helps you reclaim your personal power while allowing you to transcend the structures of narcissism which entrap you.
- Sales Rank: #934986 in Books
- Published on: 2017-04-23
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .47" w x 6.00" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 185 pages
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